Slay Your "Should" Monster.

A Dragon's Guide to Crushing Self-Doubt

‘Today was the tomorrow I was so worried about Yesterday‘

— Anthony Hopkins

We all have that voice in our heads telling us what we should be doing, what we should have achieved by now. 

But guess what? 

That voice is often wrong, and it's holding you back.

That nagging "should" voice didn't just appear out of thin air.

For me, it was born from years of high expectations and the pressure to be perfect. 

I was the nerd kid,” the teacher’s pet“,  the overachiever who always had to prove my worth.

Sound familiar? If you grew up feeling like you were never quite enough, that "should" monster probably feels like an old friend by now.

It whispers doubts in your ear, makes you second-guess your choices, and keeps you playing small.

It started early for me. 

I was the kid who stressed over every test, every assignment.

The one who cried when I got a 96 instead of a 99 in Math test.

My parents, while well-intentioned, had sky-high expectations. I was constantly chasing their approval, trying to be the "perfect son." 

The one who never disappointed, never made mistakes.

But here's the problem with chasing perfection:

It's a mirage. It doesn't exist.

And the harder I chased it, the more that "should" monster grew, feeding on my insecurities and self-doubt.

The result? I ended up in a job that was all wrong for me.

It was stable, it was what I should be doing, but it made me miserable.

My creativity was stifled, my potential untapped. I was living someone else's dream, not my own.

And the worst part? That damn "should" monster was still there, whispering in my ear:

"You should be grateful,"

"You should be happy,"

"You should just suck it up."

But I finally had had enough.

I realized I was worth more than a paycheck, more than external validation.

I deserved to be happy, fulfilled, and passionate about my work.

If you want to hear more about my experience (and the expletive-laden rant that went along with it), check out my latest podcast episode on Spotify:

Why I Ditched My Job: Listen Now

So, how did I start to silence that "should" monster and reclaim my power?

Silencing the "should" monster isn't an overnight fix.

It's an on-going process of learning to trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being.

It's about challenging those ingrained patterns of self-doubt and replacing them with a gentler, more compassionate voice.

For me, this journey started with a breakdown – literally.

I was exhausted from pushing myself relentlessly in the gym, trying to follow a rigid plan that just wasn't working.

My body was sore in all the wrong places, and I felt defeated.

It was in that moment, lying in the locker room post workout, sweat-soaked and defeated, that a thought struck me:

"What if I'm doing this all wrong?"

That question cracked open the door to a whole new way of thinking.

I started to question the "shoulds" that had ruled my workouts, my career, and even my self-worth.

Why was I so obsessed with following a plan that wasn't even making me happy?

It was a slow process, full of setbacks and self-doubt.

I'd have days where the old voice would creep back in, whispering,

"You should be doing more," 

or

"You're not good enough." 

But I kept pushing forward, reminding myself that progress, not perfection, was the goal.

One of my biggest breakthroughs came during a workout where I intentionally chose quality over quantity.

I focused on proper form, on truly feeling the muscles working, instead of just going through the motions.

It was a revelation.

I felt stronger, more connected to my body, and the "should" voice started to fade away.

Over time, I learned to replace that harsh inner critic with a more compassionate voice.

One that encouraged me to listen to my body, to set boundaries, and to make choices that aligned with my true desires, not external expectations.

It's an ongoing process.

But I'm finally starting to understand that my worth isn't determined by how much I achieve, but by how well I treat myself. 

And that, my friends, is a lesson worth learning.

So, how do we break free from the "should" monster's grip?

It's not about ignoring those voices completely – they're part of us, after all.

It's about understanding where they come from, questioning their validity, and choosing a new path.

In the next post, I'll share three actionable tips that helped me silence those whispers of doubt and build a life that feels authentically mine.

These are simple, yet powerful strategies you can start implementing today.

But before we get there, I want you to take a moment and ask yourself:

What's one area of your life where the "should" monster is holding you back?

Is it your career, your health, your relationships?

Identify it, because that's where your journey to freedom begins. Got it already? Then share below with the click of a button.

Until next time, remember:

Your story is far from over. 

You are the author, and it's time to start writing a chapter that's full of passion, purpose, and unapologetic authenticity.

I'm rooting for you,

Karthik R