The Porcupine Predicament
How My Weird Haircut Taught Me to Let Go
Back in school, I had a “porcupine” haircut. A weird ass, super nerdy haircut with hairs pointing all the way up.
I thought it made people know that I was a badass from the suburbs that shouldn’t be messed with. A part of me even wanted to keep that style for the rest of my life.
Thank fucking God I didn’t.
Parents gave me it and I guess maybe they thought it suited me and never bothered to keep up with the trend. My father used to accompany me to the salon when I used to be younger. When I sat in the chair, the barber shoots:
“How do I cut it?”
Dad goes, “Summer cut, duh!”
Yeah that’s what the thorny animal’s hairstyle is known by here.
Too much hair talk? Bear with me I got a point to make.
Having that haircut did save me a lot of time.
I didn’t have to worry about how to comb my hair, which angle of twisting gave me the best look (yeah, I loved math back then..) or least of all, think about what others had to say about it.
I also did not have to worry about making friends, getting along with people other than my parents and teachers.
And yeah, that’s why I suck at networking.
My whole life I have always been self-sufficient and knew exactly what to do next. In high school, you have the next test to grind for. In college, the next paper to submit. But in life, there’s nothing.
At least nothing that I could think of.
It’s fricking hard having to deal with life all alone when you don’t have milestones in front of you and don’t get cookies for crossing each one of them.
And if you’re reading this, let me guess, howling for help has never been your greatest skill. Boy, you’re not alone. That’s one of the reasons, I’m throwing myself here (well kinda…)
Speaking of helping,
And Maybe that’s okay.
Maybe it’s okay that you would like an occasional hug, a “Great job, dude!” or just a silent pat on the shoulder from a rando at Starbucks (creepy I know, but it works..).
But No One Gets Me, Man!
I hear you. Chill, Jeez!
I was just like you. A huge part of me still is. If this thought ever comes to my head, I usually justify it with:
“It’s lonely at the top”
“You’re royalty. You’re not meant to walk amongst the masses”
“Don’t try to fit in when you’re clearly meant to stand out”
And you know how it goes.
I’m not saying that they’re shit. They are what got me this far and I’m pretty sure some of you too.
But if you’re REALLY at the top, it is damn hard to let a damn tear out. I get it.
When you’re with your employees going through a marketing abomination, or with your child trying to help him get over his fear of bees, or just taking a literal walk in the park after craving some time alone,
You’re never really letting it out.
How long is it before wipe away the half a drop of tear you let out?
How long is it before you throw yourself onto something that keeps you busy?
How long is it before you run away again?
My point being,
You’re Human. Be it.
It’s weird how often this needs to be told.
And weirder even that this is not being taught in school.
Being vulnerable has never been so underrated and looked down upon.
People gorge (yeah!) hours of highlight reels but yet you don’t see one where they’re really just themselves, without a flood of hate right below it. It’s exhausting.
And no wonder we bottle everything up. You shouldn’t. I shouldn’t. No one should.
And what does that lead to?
Duh, A breakout. A mental breakout so bad that not a thousand of those anxiety pills could mitigate. You know, CEO.
One of my favorite quotes goes like:
So how do you let it all out?
How do you let it all out without being judged, critiqued or getting an irk from the guy in the lobby?
I struggled with this for so long. But I gotta warn you, you’re probably not gonna like the answer.
You don’t.
You don’t let it out without being judged, critiqued, or yeah getting that irk from the weirdo we talked about.
You do it anyway.
Trust me you have no idea how many times I got shot down at my 9 to 5 for bringing this up. Apparently you need to be Stone Cold if there’s business involved and that’s okay. That’s the norm that was set and I had to either put up or shut up.
By the way if you like Demi Lovato, Click here for “Stone Cold” by her.
Half Tears
Small shit does lead to huge gains, said someone super wise.
If half tears are all you can let out, let them out.
If all you can get out is the only word, “Help”, Howl it out as loud as you can.
I am a bit of a hypocrite for saying this.
Because like I said in the last post, I’m still in the middle of figuring out which path I am gonna venture on and I did NOT come close to asking for help. Let alone howling it.
Talking out loud about my emotions isn’t really a thing in our family. Considering this post and the ones before, it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that I got a lot of baggage to unpack.
But I did cry.
I cried alone.
Cried them half tears and I did one more thing after that.
Logging it.
That’s science talk for journaling.
I got to know recently that I am melodramatic. If yes, vote below.
So back to logging.
I never thought writing 3 sentences would do me so much good with calming me down. Literally.
When you’re feeling a whirlwind of negative emotions, not everything that comes out makes sense. And that’s okay. Let it out unfiltered and uncensored. It’s about time you felt better and your iPad got a taste of your rage.
Remember, It’s your voice. They’re your emotions. And you’re allowed to feel that way.
Word it all out. However long or short you can, jot it all down, scribble it, draw on your book or write a crime thriller with you as the main villain if need be.
The point is to get it all out, no matter how messy it gets.
There’s also something else that works for me that I think would work for you too.
Ironing.
Gym, Baby.
As a recently turned fitness aficionado, I can vouch for the weights.
No matter what mood I am in, which idiot pissed me off on instagram by posting his lambo’s ass shining in the dark, the gym always has my back.
Last week, I was sick. And stuck.
I loathed not being able to go to the only place that gives me any kind of peace. And that just made me lose it even more.
But today I got to. And I feel terrific after the grind. (Even made friends with the trainer who spotted me.)
So,
Move Your Majesty.
Run, walk, crawl, just get off your ass and get going. Let those endorphins encourage you. You deserve to feel good. It’s supposed to.
And before I forget, don’t go for something fucked up.
And by that I mean, stick with the bare basics if you’re just starting to literally move.
In workouts, choose the simpler ones (Regular Shoulder Press over Arnold (Schwarzenegger) Press),
In running, perhaps a quarter mile instead of one full.
You do You but start with a small You.
and Lastly,
Air. In. Out.
That’s right. Meditate.
And no, you don’t have to be a hot yoga teacher to practice it. (they do it, right? Bleh.)
And the challenging part is, Staying Still like a Sick-ass Snail.
I never thought, staying put and doing nothing of all things would require so much effort. But I have been doing it for more than a month now and I gotta say, this shit really works.
Meditation gives you clarity when the mind’s messed up.
Meditation makes you remember how to breathe when you forgot how to.
It does nothing but good to you and all you gotta do is just Breathe.
To quote Chandler, “Could this BE any simpler?” (Nailed it.)
When I first started, I set a target of 20 mins. Thought it’d be a cakewalk. Couldn’t have been more wrong.
So I brought it down to 10. Still too hard. Halved it. 5 is where I found my sweet spot. Although, Now I’m trying 10s or a combo of two 5s.
So find your sweet spot. If minutes are too big a measure, set your target in breaths. 20 Breaths, 30 Breaths. Up it as you level up.
Silence can be deafening, so I like to play a little on Spotify in the background.
Just something peaceful that makes you feel like you’re floating like a happy ghost. Click Below to Listen. One of my Favorites.
So there you have it – a few simple, practical ways to start letting it all out.
Remember, the goal isn't to become a perfectly vulnerable human overnight but about taking small steps and finding what works for You.
It's about embracing your messy, imperfect, beautifully human self.
And hey, if you find yourself crying over spilled milk (or a burnt dinner, or a missed deadline), just remember – even royalty sheds a tear sometimes.
Next time you feel those emotions bubbling up, try one of these strategies.
And if you have any other tips for letting it all out, share them in the comments!
Let's create a pack of support and encouragement for all of us navigating this crazy thing called life.
Love You and Until Next Week,
Your Wolf in the Wilderness,
Karthik R